We're Watching You
TO: Arlington County Employees
FROM: CSI: Arlington County
SUBJECT: Your Internet Surfing Habits
Dear Arlington County employee, like you, we are big fans of the Internet. The Internet allows us to do fun things like post pictures of law-breaking county employees and then mock their infractions. It allows us to find fun facts, like how Arlington County parking aides get paid $45,011 each year, while new teachers in Virginia make only $31,924. The Internet also allows us to see who is visiting our website, how long they spend on our website, and what other websites they might have been looking at both before and after their assuredly delightful jaunt to CSI: Arlington County.
So imagine our surprise when we discovered that many of the commenters on and visitors to our site were *gasp* employees of Arlington County! It even appears that one of you naughty little buggers spent quite a bit of time at our site leaving harrassing comments in nearly every post. If we didn't know any better, we'd think you had a crush on us.
Of course we're delighted that our county officials are finally taking the time to educate themselves about the concerns of the electorate, but we're not too keen on our tax dollars being used by county bureaucrats to defend their little bureaucracy for hours at a time.
In addition to being big fans of the Internet, we here at CSI: Arlington County are also big fans of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). In addition to allowing citizens access to records about county expenditures on vehicles and fuel, FOIA also allows us to access county records about, oh, let's say a certain website that tracks the illicit activities of a certain county parking enforcement unit. We're sure that request is going to be a lot of fun for you. But don't get ahead of yourself, as you have plenty of other requests to which you must first attend. And remember, non-compliance with state FOIA regulations may end up costing you a lot of money.
Anyhow, we know you have a lot of very important work to do, so we won't take up too much of your time. Just remember that we know who you are, and that based on the sites you've been visiting, Santa's not going to have very many presents for you this year.